He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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