we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
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the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
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I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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