I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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