i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She bit a glass in half.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
