Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
