capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
