Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
two words: eviction party
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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