We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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