you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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