My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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