My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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