Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
