My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
