dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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