Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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