he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
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You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
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Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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