whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
