Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
