how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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