My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
