Well apparently he's into motor boating.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
