Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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