if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
