I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
