So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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