okay pat passed out under dana's car
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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