do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
