you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
