Your tits are I can't wait for
Your mouth is God's brothel.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize