Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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