you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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