and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Randomize
