am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
