Pappa wants mamma naked
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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