no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
