Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
