the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar