I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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