it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
