Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
porn star boner night. come get it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
