i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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