Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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