Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
