I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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