dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
