Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
