I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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