I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
