i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
