your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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