That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
