Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
