I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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