I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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