Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
When are your genitals available?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
