Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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