so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
