I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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