Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
