i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
