I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
