Can Purell be used as lube?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
