When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
where are my eyebrows?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
