my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I've blown a few things in my day
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My feet surprised me
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