I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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