I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
