You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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