I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
