ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
